Day One

I was barely 19 when I took my first step on the Dark Continent. I was just shy of 59 when I next stepped foot on its beautiful shores. I have learned much in the intervening years, but I find to my shame that much of my narcissism remains the same. My daughter chides me continually not to talk to people, not to be a target. And it’s true that we barely got off the plane before my giant sign saying sucker caused a man to direct us to our gate, seeing two helpless females in need of assistance from this self-employed man who would in no way be expecting a tip as large as a twenty (dollars, not rand which would only be 2 dollars) but who looked insulted by the 50 rand I gave him.. for the conversation more than any directions that we probably were capable of following on our own… and the white guilt of having benefited from the years of colonialism we inherited whether I personally had anything to do with it or not. But I digress.

I was talking of my narcissism.  One thing I have learning from going to church with people who are homeless is that one of the worst parts of being homeless is the way that people treat you as if you are invisible. I have felt invisible before in my life and know it to be a very lonely experience so even if it makes me a target, I try to connect. So I talked to our taxi driver. Now I can blame it on almost 36 hours without sleep, or my concussive brain, but the bottom line is it’s just my white American privileged life that made me ask if he had seen any of the games during the World Cup (thinking sports was the universal male language) and then following up with the equally stupid or is cricket your sport.. thinking , well obviously NOT thinking. This man, who did share that he once worked in the mines and played rugby, obviously could not afford a ticket to a World Cup game and would know even less than me about an elitist British sport like cricket. My attempt to connect was wrapped in my own experiences rather than stopping to think first of what may have been his. I have traveled well out of the cocoon of my life. I hope my eyes will be open to the things that I will see here. I hope that I can peel away more of the narcissism that pervades my privileged influenced thoughts. I think that I am pretty self aware of how very rich I am, but I find that it is incredibly hard to do.  There is so much that I take for granted.

Evidently, I have outgrown the ability to sleep sitting up and did not sleep until we reached the beds in our hotel room. But after 14 hours of sleep interrupted only briefly when I awoke to the alarm and took my little box full of meds, Maura actually had to knock on the door to get me up. She fully expected me to have been up for hours waiting on her. I could have slept for a lot longer even then. It must be remembered that I have not gone a day without a nap in over a month.

Once aroused, we headed for the bus station to take advantage of the afternoon light before the early night of the South African winter set in. Maura forced me to stop and have breakfast which was a good call because I was definitely needing a coffee. Then we headed to the Citi-bus, bought a pass and boarded going west towards the shore. Once there, Maura gave thanks for my wreck which slowed me down a little. I still managed to walk her into blisters on the boots she insisted before we came were her best walking shoes. We saw hang gliders, paddle boarders and plain kayakers and even a boxer on a kelp-covered slither of sand. Maura finally got me back on the bus and we went back to the motel by way of a really nice grocery where we got fruit and sandwiches and salad and pickles and green beans and ginger beer and diet coke and dessert tarts for about 12 bucks. We tried in vain to talk to my hubby but I guess he was either gone or never could figure out how to answer google.

Did I mention what a swanky joint we are staying in our first two nights? I meant it to be comfy but Oh man! We have two bedrooms. Each has its own bathroom with deep tubs. (Maura sat outside my door so I could take a bath without drowning … seizure….) There is a washer and dryer which we are using for our smelly plane clothes and my sling and brace… and we could throw a party in the kitchen/den area. There is a spa and massage for $$$ if we had more time but mostly we just want to sleep. This blog is really just helping me make it to nine o’clock because I could so lie down right now.

We move to our more permanent abode tomorrow and will try to get our bearings by taking a tourist bus with an upper deck that basically just rides around the city. Both of us will probably be burnt to a crisp in spite of the opposite seasons. It’s been in the low 20’s C which is 60’s F. Not my idea of early winter… pretty damn perfect weather and no rain predicted until next Monday. Life is not fair. I have had more than my share of good things, but I just can’t find it within myself to complain.